it's been more than a year since i've shared anything on this page. and now, it's time to bid goodbye to 2015 in another 8 more days. since today is christmas' eve, i hope that this post wouldn't affect me much emotionally because it's supposed to be a happy day, right? honestly, how could time just past by like this?!
this year, i bid goodbye to my secondary school life and welcome the college life. everything has changed. no more meeting up in the morning with the usual and walk to school together. no more walking through the back door because the front door has to be locked. no more usual routines of secondary school that i once has taken granted for.
this year, i bid goodbye from youth group to young adult group. i spent 4 years in this place i've been so familiar with that i did not expect and prepare myself in the next life station. and at this point of time i felt so lost. how could i leave this place so easily after 4 years of commitment, or perhaps before that i've already felt distanced from everyone, which made things easier for me to leave. i thought i was strong enough to conquer it. well, i thought.
this year, i bid goodbye to you, R, days after your birthday. i still remember that the very last meal that we had together landed me in the hospital. and the very next day she was sick and you took good care of her. after i saw the post all in my mind was, "if only i was courageous enough in love". seeing you happy makes me happy too, and i wish you all the best. wo ye ying gai yong gan zai ai yi ci le. its been too long, i need to move on.
this year, i bid goodbye to many people who tried to enter my life. sorry to those that i've stopped you in any ways that you've tried to get to know more about me. i hope you understand that my walls are very high and it takes time for people to get to know me. and to the friendships that did not work out, you deserved to be loved and prioritized.
this year, i welcomed my college friends into my life. i met people that i thought i could never get that close to. i drew closer to unexpected people that now plays a part in my life and stands a place in my heart.
this year, i bid more goodbyes than welcomes. but it doesn't matter because i am happy and contented with my life at this very moment.
thank you God for this very bittersweet year, it's yet another year that i've learnt the little details in life.
